As Tom Petty says:

The waiting is the hardest part.  Well...at least at this point.  Heather asked me last night how I was doing.  I said that I am eager for the 24th to get here but before we know it the 24th will be here and it will have arrived too quickly.  Heather acknowledged that statement and then said that she is not really putting a lot of significance on that date.

I applaud her for that but I am having difficulty reconciling that.  

I worry about being prepared...both of us.....for the surgery, the physical after effects, and the rebuilding and recovery process.

When I say the physical after effects I mean the impending painfulness not that fact that she will no longer have her own breasts.  I think she is pretty good with that and I am totally on board as well. She has always been and will always be beautiful.

I worry about getting the test results on the lymph nodes they will remove during the mastectomy.  If there is even an inkling that the cancer has spread Heather will need to go through chemo and I don't want that for her.

I tend to care more about others than I do myself at times like these and right now I am experiencing anticipatory stress about my wife's health and well being.  Not that there is anything I can do about it until the 24th but I am having trouble not anticipating it all.

I am so happy that we will celebrate Heather's birthday tomorrow and that we get to go to Bunbury next weekend together as planned.  I am being very selfish here but  I am happy that the double mastectomy and possible chemo will allow me the opportunity to celebrate many more birthdays with my beautiful bride.  I love her and want to spend as much time together as possible considering the fact that we got a late start together.  :)

Always keeping you abreast of my thoughts; Mark