Back in the saddle

As you probably know Heather had to have her left implant surgically removed last Wednesday.  This unfortunately pushed back the chemo that was planned for last Friday.  

We weren't sure how Heather would be feeling after the surgery and we almost cancelled the shearing party we had planned for Saturday. Fortunately the good news was plentiful; she felt pretty darn good, only had one drain, and she started shedding on her own!  So just in the nick of time we had the shearing party on Saturday and it was a blast!

Heather started off by taking the first cut with scissors.  We then let each of our little ones take a whack and then several other kids at the party did the same. Next came the clippers.  We shaved one side of her head and she looked very, well, European punk maybe?   Next the other side came off so she was sporting a mowhawk.  It was awesome!  Then the rest was taken off and by Jove she looked absolutely beautiful.  I mean fantastically gorgeous!  (Still does)

The plastic surgeon who removed the implant and the oncologist came to an agreement of sorts and today we had a chemo appointment established.  Since Heather's blood work was stellar the oncologist proceeded with the chemo!  I know it sounds weird to be excited about it but we want the chemo to get in there and do what it is supposed to do as soon as possible and any delays are frustrating.

2 down and 6 to go.  Thanks for all of the love and support.  Really...it means an awful lot to us.   XXXXOOOO

Heather rockin a mowhawk on the way to a complete shave

Mountains and valleys to traverse

As many of you know Heather had a rather unexpected surgery today to remove the reconstruction expander and some dead tissue in her left breast.  This was due to continued swelling due to fluid buildup in the breast which compromised the blood flow to the tissue and the skin became paper thin and it had the potential to open which would have caused the removal of the expander anyway.

Therefore her right breast, the cancer side, still looks great.  The left side is now flat and maybe even a little indented.  Her rebuilding process on the left side will not occur for about 1 year as she needs to get through chemo, radiation, and the residual effects of radiation before they can rebuild.

Heather's sister Katie, the angel that she is, came in from Michigan this morning to join us for the surgery and though we would have preferred this not happen we are pleased that the surgery went very well.  It started at 1:00 and was finished by 1:16.  Katie and i met with the physician, Dr. Butterfield whom Heather and I absolutely adore, and then waited about an hour to see Heather in recovery.

Heather was alert, smiling, and felt great and not just because of the meds.  We were on the way out the door by 4!  Before we left Dianne Stapp stopped by to see us since she works as a nurse at The Christ Hospital.  It was so nice to see her.  She and I go waaaayyyy back when she and her husband, boyfriend at the time, Tod and I worked together at Coney Island.  Heather has been lucky enough to know her since Jackie's dancing days at McNick.

We are evaluating whether or not we will continue with Heather's shearing event on Saturday.  We will see how she feels through tomorrow and go from there.  Thanks to all of you for your love, prayers, and energy today and everyday.  It truly makes a difference in our lives.

As a wise woman (Laura Daniels Graves) said to me once, and I paraphrase "Setbacks allow for comebacks".  So true.  This will slow us down a bit since chemo has to be put off for a week or two but we shall move on and kick the crap out of this cancer.

Cosmetic Shift

"The best laid plans of mice and men oft go astray."

It is inevitable, when it comes to cancer treatment that things will not go as planned. That somewhere along the line there will be a slight change or modification to the plan. Lets just say that sometimes the changes aren't so slight and you have to remind yourself that the reality is that these plans are fluid and sometimes there are major changes in direction but you are still moving forward. 

This leads me to my life over the past 2 1/2 weeks. The plan for the last week of August was: port placement on Wednesday and Chemo on Friday. But on Monday I noticed that my left breast was swollen so I called the surgeon and she fit me in. With a look of concern she drained about 120cc of fluid out of my breast. With a reminder to come back and see her if it started to swell again we were back on plan. I noticed a little swelling after my port placement on Wednesday but nothing I worried about too much. 

Friday was chemo day. Chemo day involves a lot of waiting. You start out getting a lab draw (through my fancy new port). Then you sit around and wait for the doctor to get the results so that she can make sure you are well enough to get chemo. This visit, since it was the first one, also included some extra education (which is always helpful). Then we head downstairs to wait for an empty chair in the infusion room. Once that's available you wait for the medicine to come and get checked and verified. Then they start the infusion. The infusion is pretty painless - just a little boring if you don't have someone as entertaining as Mark to keep you company. And then you are done.  

They give you a bunch of preventative medications that help curb side effects (like nausea etc.). Then they put you on an anti-nausea plus steroid combo for the next two days to keep you feeling good. (Mark and I like to refer to the steroid as Meth - it's somewhere in the name). Despite all this of course I came crashing down into nausea land. 

In the meantime, I noticed that I was swelling more and more in my left breast. Of course, it was a holiday weekend and by Tuesday I was feeling pretty rotten from the chemo so I forgot to call the plastic surgeon. By Wednesday I was a mess - nausea like crazy, sores on my tongue (turned out I had thrush), and the swelling in my left breast was getting uncomfortable - so I called and got appointments made with my surgeon and oncologist. My surgeon took one look at my breast and was very unhappy. They ended up draining about 200cc of fluid this time. She scheduled a follow up for today - she was very concerned with how my incision and skin looked. 

I've been slowly feeling better from the chemo and I've been making sure to do everything my doctors told me but today's appointment didn't go very well. My surgeon took one look at my breast today and sat down. She sat quietly for a long time - I could see all the wheels turning as she tried to come up with the new plan...  Then she gave me the bad news - I am losing my implant (or expander to be more accurate). 

The skin on my breast won't likely survive much more chemo if any. It is ready to rupture. So tomorrow they have to take it out and clean out the dead and dying tissue and then close it up. There will be nothing left. We will have to do a major rebuild process after I heal from radiation treatment. It will involve a lot more surgery and they will have to take donor skin/tissue from somewhere else on my body to build the breast.  It will be a lot more complicated. So that means another surgery now, postponement of chemo for a few weeks, and more surgeries later. 

To put it mildly, I am bummed. 

But I try to remember something I read recently describing the human spirit as water. It can be calm and peaceful but it can be fierce.  It can move around obstacles with hardly a notice or with a ferocity needed to move them out of the way. So I remind myself this is something I can and will manage. Just maybe not always gracefully. 

Love to you all,

Grace Faux Tata